Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Name:_________________

Much before the bundle of joy appears( really what about all the wailing and soiled diapers?) parents start choosing a name for the baby. And it is a big deal. A good example to quote here would be Baby Gogol of 'NameSake'. The importance of the right name can't be explained any better.
So when I arrived I was duly christened and the lamb sacrificed as per tradition, partaken digested and forgotten about. When a person of considerable importance to us recommended a name change the suggestion was accepted and in compliance another lamb was sacrificed and dispersed in the same manner. While the baby in question was blissfully unaware of all the momentous decisions being taken about her. I suppose even if the name was changed a half a dozen times more it would have affected the lamb population more than the blessed baby.

And so Baby Sehba came into being officially and the parents were happy that their girl was being called by a unique and hard-to-find-another-so-named-person name while the elders were happy that the name was as per the wishes of the 'higher authority' and the lambs were happy too.
The next three years passed uneventfully if I might say -The quiet before the storm. And then started the 'name game'. Let me explain . The game is something like this -every person has unlimited chances to get the name right. There have been rare winners who needed no extra chances and there have been losers who still cant say it right after years of association.
What is your name beta??
Sehba
Huh?
Sehba. ( a little louder)
Scehbha?
SEHba !!
OK OK you mean Shaiba.
No ma'am ( deep breath) S-E-H-B-A
OH I see. ( quickly jotting it down before the need to ask arises again)

I changed gears optimistically thinking that spelling it out on the first chance might help. But that too did not go down too well. A certain doctor took my dictation as such-'sehehba'. So now if I can help it I just snatch the pen without a word and write my precious name myself.
I remember how every first day when the new class teacher came in to take the name call my friends would start ribbing me , waiting in anticipation to see how this would turn out. I have quite a few memories of the person stopping at my name and peering more closely at the letters as if they would jump up and pronounce themselves. Tthis happens until I helpfully volunteer , " Ma'am that's me, Sehba" .
Thank you Saiba.
And there we go again. A certain geography teacher who taught me for 2 years called and spelled my name- Saheba. Who wants to bell the cat?
But out of school too the trouble followed. I had just given a sigh in relief that there would be no more versions developed as to how many ways my name can be pronounced in. But I was again wrong. For most commercial purposes one needs to send duly filled out forms so your name can appear on bank accounts,passports so on and so forth.
So I went out armed with papers to get myself a bank account. I had not to say a word. I submitted my form to the sour-looking man and was told my passbook and debit card would arrive by post later. I left thankful on not having to say my name.
As promised the passbook and card arrived- one for Sheba Ahmedi and the other for Sehmba Ahmedi.
To add insult to injury when I did a spell check for this document the darn computer offered helpfully-Samba???

4 comments:

NABIL SHAMSI said...

i am sure shaoor will find your article interesting as he too shares your experience - Nabil

Zayna said...

I understand your woe!! I am referred to as either 'Zainab' which I guess is a more common name than Zayna or as 'Zeena'. I didn't know that 'ay' is now pronounced as 'ee' lol!!
Great writing though and i love the idea of you having a personal blog.

Naqeeba said...

I now undersand why you dislike the people who donot pronounce your name correctly and insist them about the name SEHBA....... your woks are as good as your name

Unknown said...

i love this one.For me it goes like this...

the boy sitting in the last bench, Whats your name?

"Mohammed Zoyeb" Maa'm

Joeb..huh

No maa'm its Zoyeb

yeah its the same thing.. joheb

z-o-y-e-b Maaa'm

of c'mon stop bugging me jho-yyeb

as u say Maa'm

heh heh heh for me i guess this would be going on till i breath my last.. This was the last i could hear in front of my class of 60, Since then i named myself as ZAPPY.. easy yet complicated.